Well, I'm back to blogging. It's been a four month hiatus and I've missed it desperately. Life has a funny way of becoming all about what you have to do instead of what you want to do. At least, that's what my life feels like lately, and it's not all that fun. There are many things I can't change but what I can. I will.
A few months ago I was Facebook talking with a very smart friend of mine about the path my life has taken lately. She gave me a good talking to and told me to start focusing on gratitude.
Right...
Gratitude and I have a tempestuous relationship at best. I spent a good part of my twenties feeling bitter and unhappy. In my thirties, I focused on finding beauty in everyday life and the good in the bad (which helped me come out of my post-partum depression fog). I never felt grateful, I still carried resentment deep down. In the past two years it's surfaced when I was confronted with my husband's difficulty with changing careers. I felt life was being hard and unfair again. Everything seemed so easy for others and not for us.
Of course, I know that's not the case.
Well, I followed her prescription of saying out loud five things I was grateful for and then saying thank you three times every night before bed.
I felt a bit silly and worried I wouldn't be able to think of five things!
The very next day, I was leaving to pick up Sid for lunch, I walked out of my building into the pouring rain, sans wallet and umbrella. I got mad at myself for not checking the weather (it's hard to tell from 10 stories up if it's raining or not) and wished I brought my wallet so I could take Sid to a near by Subway instead of walking all the way home in the rain. I looked down and saw a wad of cash on the ground. A cable repair truck was right next to it, I knocked on the door and the guy told me it wasn't theirs. He told me how lucky I was and to enjoy myself.
Now, of course, that hasn't happened everyday, but it has helped my outlook.
A few weeks later I found a long lost gratitude journal when I was de-hoarding my room. Every night I write out my five things. In just over a month I don't think I've repeated very many of my blessings.
I see now that it's simple. Shit happens in life, no question, but you can choose what to focus on.
This past February I turned 40. I'm okay with it, as my Dad says, it beats the alternative. This is the decade to be grateful for what I have instead of feeling resentment over what I don't have.
I now see scrapbooking (and blogging) as another form of gratitude, a way of celebrating and honouring the good in my life.
Here's a new page about two sweet girls I'm grateful for!
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I hope to post more very soon, thanks for reading!
