Thursday, March 18, 2010

Writing about what's hard to talk about

The All About Me challenge blog has their new challenge up and it's a doozy. The challenge is to use the quote "Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."There was only one thing I could think to explore in layout. It's not something that I talk about a lot here. I'm not even sure how to start....which really bugs me. Depression has such a stigma attached to it, that over six years later I still feel embarrassed.

When Sid was born I spiraled down into a life altering depression. I was plagued with extreme anxiety and very dark feelings. If not for my family and medication I don't know what would have happened. Yet, many people in my daily life had no idea. I was on medication for almost five years. I flourished, no doubt. Life was beautiful again.
Eventually, I wanted to be medication free. The short term memory loss as brutal. (Seriously, who forgets that they shampooed their hair while they are still in the shower?) So, in the summer of 2008 I went off the pills. It was rough, but manageable. I lasted about 11 months, then anxiety seeped back into my life. Almost unnoticeable at first but it quickly gained momentum. I started not sleeping, then crying about not sleeping, then crying about crying. It was time to face facts. Me+Zoloft= Good.
I'm a better Mom, Wife and a better ME.
I know many people who struggle with mental illness everyday and I am TIRED of the stigma! We don't hide physical illnesses, so how do we expect to heal mental illness by covering it up. So here's my layout and you just read my two cents. I hope, maybe, I can open one mind by talking about about mine.

9 comments:

Regan said...

beautiful way to put it..good for you!!

Lovethis layout(well all your layouts)

Penny B. said...

Great post and layout. I deal with it too and each day can be a struggle. I take meds and know that it is something I have to live with for the rest of my life. My docs tell me that depression often gets worse each time it returns and that's something that I can't go through again. Take care.

Rach H said...

So beautiful and honest. Thank you for that gift!

Miranda said...

I think it's good to talk about depression and taking meds for it. Nothing to be embarrassed about, in my opinion! But I think it takes courage to do what you did now.

Pamela said...

Depression is so common...we shouldn't be afraid to talk about it. I applaud you for doing so. Great page!

Marlene said...

Go you! I've been struggling with "downer days" lately, and I hope that's all they are...but I often wonder if they'll grab me and pull me under one day.

Jen said...

It bugs ne that people put a stigma on it. And you are brave for talking about it. Everyone has a story that is hard to share. Thanks for sharing yours.

Kate's Life said...

You beautiful, fabulous lady!!!! I have so much admiration for you, your wonderful spirit, talent and amazing honesty!!! I am so proud of you and even prouder to be your friend!!! WTG Vic- awesome layout! Thanks for giving a voice to so many who are to afraid to speak!

Lisa (sharpie) said...

yup, we truly are twins seperated at birth!
Did I ever tell you about my P.P (post partum) turned F.M (forever more)? Ya well, I guess I don't need to because you have lived it too.

Baby girl, check
10 years ago, check
Zoloft, check
tried to go off, check
serious short term memory loss and tremors, check!

I hear ya girlfriend!
Did I ever mention that I was going to name my first baby Sydney? (husband kiboshed it)

Oh and hey, where do I load up my layout(s) on my slobby-ness?